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Thursday, December 5, 2013
So, Pedro. Do you believe you may be the only Brazilian Bizarro to this day? What is the writing scene like there?
I'm not sure I'm the only one. I would love to find others, specially right here in Rio de Janeiro. If I ever discover more Bizarros around here, we'll build a magical carpet to fly us all to BizarroCon. As for the writing scene in Brazil today, I got to tell you, it is very bleak. Call me anti-patriotic, but I can't read Brazilian writers today. We're a country with a great tradition of writers, like Machado de Assis, José de Alencar, Carlos Drummond de Andrade, among others, who were truly great. Our writers nowadays are mediocre, at best.
What got you into writing in the first place? Was this a lifelong interest or did you fall into by accident?
When I was a kid, I used to read a lot of comic books, and I began designing characters. I had a notebook filled with origin stories, descriptions of the powers, aliases, etc. When I was about 16, I started wanting to write something. I participated in a online workshop in a social media website, that lasted for about a year or two. After that, I wrote some Erotica, encouraged by a friend of mine, and that was it. I still wrote occasionally, but my ideas seemed very “weird” and “non-traditional”. Then, I discovered Bizarro in 2013, and my whole world changed.
Considering you live in Brazil, we are dying to know if you’ve ever been in combat with a piranha. If so, what is the best way to kick its ass?
The word “piranha” is already in Portuguese, no translation necessary, did you know that? Answering the question: Yes, they fall out of the sky after a hard wind. You're walking down the street when suddenly they start to fall all over you. To defeat them, you just need to take one in your hand and bite it's head off. The other ones will see you're crazy enough to bring a piranha close to your face and bite it, so they'll just accept the fact that they landed near the wrong son of a bitch and die on the floor, resigned.
Fun fact: In Brazil, “piranha” is slang for “whore."
You are stranded on a desert island. You would kill for an ice-cold popsicle, but all you have with you are three books. What would you want them to be?
“Murder on the Orient Express” by Agatha Christie, “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman “The Bible”, by God. Just kidding about the bible thing. The third one would be “The Stand”, by Stephen King.
In your honest, unbiased opinion, do you think people should vote for Pedro?
YES! For Emperor of the Universe! Under my ruling, candy would be free for everyone, and Bizarro books would be required reading in every school in the world.
We need to know; what is your favorite flavor of popsicle?
Passion fruit. I don't know if you have those over there, but they are the best thing ever. The only thing about them I don't like is the damn seeds. It's awful to bite one, they taste horrible. But, after a long day off biting piranhas's heads off, some passion fruit seeds are a real treat.
And there you have it! Thanks a million for you time, Pedro, and we are happy to have you aboard! Look for Pedro’s story How Billy Bob Jones Changed the World in Fireside Press’s upcoming anthology, Fireside Popsicles!
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
This is the point in where I attempt to interview far more wittier people than myself (may the gods have mercy on us all). Today is all about Max Booth III and his utter coolness. His story, A Moment of Silence, is as provocative as it is twisted. Enjoy, dear readers!
1. We will start with the hard questions first: Tea or coffee in the morning?
Well I work a night shift, so replace “in the morning” with “in the middle of the night” and your answer would be lots and lots of coffee. Oh God I love coffee. I am actually drinking coffee as I answer this question.
2. Tell us a little about yourself using as many adjectives as possible.
I’m all out of adjectives but I do have some coffee.
More about me – I am the editor in chief of Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing and the assistant editor of Dark Moon Digest. I wrote a collection of flash fiction bizarro called THEY MIGHT BE DEMONS that is currently available through Dark Moon Books. It is the world’s most famous book about Satan possessing a Geo.
My debut novel, TOXICITY, is scheduled to be released next spring through Post Mortem Press. It is a dark comedy about horrible things happening to horrible people. My editor described it as a Shakespearean tragedy with a lizard hooker.
3. Song that best conveys your personal motto.
“Happy Holidays, You Bastard” by Blink-182
4. How did you come to be a part of Fireside Popsicles?
I think M.c. O’Neill read my book, THEY MIGHT BE DEMONS, and decided he was probably going to hell anyway, so he might as well just invite me to the anthology as well.
5. In three sentences, please tell us about your particular story.
Everybody wakes up and discovers they’ve lost the ability to speak. People riot and destroy the world. A neighbor borrows some sugar.
6. Where did the idea come from?
Walmart. There was a sale going on.
7. Do you pronounce “caramel” with two or three syllables?
Due to a speech impediment that involves “r”, I do my best to avoid the word “caramel”. Seriously, fuck that delicious, delicious word.
8. What words of wisdom would you like to give to our readers?
Never believe anything anyone ever tells you. They are all out to get you. Soon your time will come.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Welcome to the beginning of the end, my Fipsicles.
Twisted tales told by the fire.
Cold wind blowing as the hairs on the back of your neck rise high into the night.
The Bizarre silhouetted against the moonlight.
3K word limit
Due: January 1st.